Category: New Parents

Being new parents is a role that can bring you great joy and happiness as well as challenges to deal with. Nurturing your child and watching them grow and develop into their own unique person can add meaning and purpose to your life. An important part of parenting is looking after yourself so you can be your best for your children and family.

Being a parent can change you as a person. While all parents bring strengths and skills to their parenting, many find they grow and learn ‘on the job’, just as children grow and learn. They come to understand more about children and what they need at each stage of their development. Parents can also learn a lot about themselves and what helps them be their best as a parent.

Sleep easy by choosing the right cot

With prices ranging from €80 for a basic cot up to €1300 for a solid wood luxury cot, it’s worth shopping around to choose the one that is perfect for your baby’s early months and years. Whether you decide to buy a cot-bed which will last until your child is five or six, or whether you want a cute cot for babyhood, you will be searching for the best in safety quality, durability and value for money.

Cots:

There is a huge range of cots to choose from and you would be wise to do some extensive research and to consult with the staff in your local baby accessories shop before making a purchase. Ensure that you always look out for the BS EN 716: 2008, safety standard. This ensures that the cot is deep enough to be safe for your baby, that the bars are the correct distance apart, and that the cot does not have cut-outs or steps. If you are using a borrowed or second hand cot, ensure that the distance between the bars is no less than 2.5cm (1inch) and no more than 6.5cm(2.6inches). This is to prevent babies head slipping between the bars. Cots used to have drop sides, for easy access, but these day cots have static or non- moveable sides. It is acceptable to put baby in the cot as soon as they are home form hospital, although many parents prefer to use a cradle, moses basket or carry cot till the baby is a little bigger. A height-adjustable base is common in most cots and cots beds. You can choose the highest lever for the first few months in order to lift your baby in and out easily. The lower level really comes into its own as baby starts to pull themselves up and become more adventurous.

Cot beds:

A cot bed is a cot where the sides and the end panel are removable, so that it may be converted into a toddler-sized bed later on. The best cot beds are durable, safe and easy to convert. Not surprisingly, these are extremely popular and are a much better investment, in that you get a longer life from the purchase. They may also help to assist in making the move from a cot to a bed as smooth as possible for your child. On the down side, a cot bed will take up more space in the room. However its life span in terms of usage is much longer than that of the cot.

Travel Cots:

Travel cots are portable cots that you can fold up and put in a bag to take away with you. Most have a plastic or metal frame, woven fabric and mesh sides, and a hard segmented bottom with a folding, lightly padded mattress. Before purchasing check weight (is it too heavy for travel?) size (again is it travel friendly?), do you need a mattress, stability, ease of assembly (for obvious reasons!) and naturally, cost. If you don’t actually leave home very often you must ask whether you actually need to purchase a travel cot. The assistant in your local baby accessories shop will be able to advise on the best travel cot for your needs.

Teething rail:

An optional teething rail can be incorporated into some cots. It’s a simple rail or a protective covering lining the side-edges of the cot which assists in avoiding the risk of damage. Some cots have casters or mounted wheels which are handy if you want to move it into to a different room. It also makes for easier cleaning under and around the cot.

Bedside cots:

You can buy cots with a removable side so you can position the cot right next to your bed. The base can be adjusted so your baby’s mattress can be lined up with yours, which makes night-time feeding easier.

Mattresses:

Just as it has become a huge part of purchasing an adult bed, there is a mind boggling range of mattresses to choose from. Make sure you choose the right size, ensuring that it is firm and flat and has a waterproof cover. Mattress should have the BSI number 1877-10:2011+A1:2012. There should be no gaps at the side.

Eating Healthy for two- The do’s and don’ts of your Pregnancy diet

Did you know that dietitians are now saying that during the later stages of pregnancy, your baby can ‘taste’ the foods you eat through the amniotic fluid. Treating your baby to a variety of healthy fruits and vegetables in the womb, will increase the chance that your baby will recognize and accept those flavours later on. Eating healthy for two can seem to be a complicated matter. There are foods to avoid and foods to enjoy. Some people encourage you to eat more while others frighten you with words like ‘obese’ and plain old ‘fat’. A good diet for a healthy pregnancy is mainly common sense. If you ate healthy before getting pregnant then there is little change required. If your diet was full of ready meals, takeaways and sugar rushes, then you have the incentive to change.

What not to Eat!

Some foods should be avoided when you’re pregnant. These include raw seafood, unpasteurized milk, cheese and soft cheese like Brie or Camembert. Avoid pate and raw or undercooked meat and poultry. Try not to be tempted by hot deli meals, hotdogs etc as they have a small risk of passing bacteria and parasites. Undercooked eggs should be avoided. Likewise, liver and liver products.

What to Eat!

Everything else! As you can imagine, this leaves a lot of good things to eat. It is worth noting that for the first six months of pregnancy you do not need any extra calories for a growing baby! In the last three months you only need 200 extra calories a day. This is the equivalent of a toasted pitta bread and two tablespoons of hummus or a couple of oatcakes and avocado!! Fruit and veg, protein and low fat dairy are the obvious menu options as you give the tiny person and yourself the most nutritious meals available.

Don’t feel like eating?

If you suffer from nausea or heartburn, you may find it easier to eat a little often rather than large meals at designated times. Bland starchy food, such as crackers or toast may be the short term solution.

Reduce caffeine and throw alcohol to the bin for the duration.

Treats during pregnancy: You are not being punished and don’t need to give up all your favourite foods. High salt and sugar snacks can still be enjoyed in moderation. But don’t feel too guilty if you succumb to temptation and the bowl of crisps or gallon of ice cream disappears in one sitting! Eat well and have a happy healthy pregnancy

Are the Terrible Two’s Really Something to Fear?

Toddlers are adorable. They are loving and funny and cute as kittens in a basket full of teddy bears. So why does everyone brand them terrible when they reach the tender age of two. The complete overuse of the cliché, terrible twos, would imply that as soon as the candles on the second birthday cake are extinguished, the screaming will start and continue unabated till the third birthday.

Sure, we have all seen a tiny person having a large meltdown in the supermarket, church or street. Attila the Kid. Screaming the walls down because there is no pink cornflakes, because they cannot have a wine spritzer or some other random inexplicable reason. Knowing glances and smiles from other parents can help with the embarrassment of the outburst, but it won’t be too long before someone in the viewing public will condescendingly utter those over-used words: ‘The terrible two’s’.

Two is not terrible folks. Two is wonderful. (Most of the time!). Put yourself in the little persons place and think about how they feel. Life is very complicated and this little dude/dudette must negotiate social situations, strange new experiences, food likes and dislikes, body changes and a whole plethora of new scenarios daily that would turn an adults head. In fairness to the little ones, they meet most of these challenges with good humour, aided by cuddles, the odd nap and a healthy snack. Who can blame them for feeling overwhelmed sometimes and when those feelings of frustration bubble to the top… well, you just have to let it go!

Toddle temper tantrums can be epic! Frankly, a lot of adults would love to let rip without inhibition or consequence. Rolling around the floor bemoaning the fact that the cinema does not have hot nachos and it’s the last straw in a yucky day! Fortunately (or unfortunately) we have learned to control our feelings of dissatisfaction and annoyance. Social mores dictates that we smile tightly and supress the screams. We cannot expect the same behaviour of the new people in the world. Afterall we would all love to react like this if we were going to Disneyland…

Let’s stop labelling toddlers, wobblers and smallies. It’s a big world for small people. We must forgive the odd outburst and not focus on the negative. Two is no more terrible then the Onerous Ones, the Horrid Threes and the Ferocious Fours! It’s all about attitude and your frame of mind. Children are a joy. Enjoy the world with them and through their eyes and if it all becomes too much… well… you know what to do…let it rip… after all, those terrible thirties can be tough.

Stimulate your Babies Imagination with these Artistic Activities

We are all used to a more stimulated lifestyle than any previous generation. T.V., Netflix, Theatres, Cinemas and Art Galleries feed our imagination and inspire us to greater things. Or at least, they inspire us to greater posts on Instagram and more interesting conversations. But the world of culture is not just for adults and the organisers of events, galleries and theatre venues are appreciating this new and untapped audiences with many inventive ways to attract your baby and toddler from the cradle to the theatre seat.

Theatre venues like the Mac in Belfast are among the leaders in providing child-friendly or ‘relaxed’ performances of their productions. At these designated shows, the lights are left on, the actors explain the ‘baddies’ early on in proceedings and the volume is down a notch or two on stage. In the audience there is a higher tolerance for noise and movement which makes it a welcoming place for younger children and those with disabilities. It’s a perfect introduction to Theatre.

The Hawkswell Theatre in Sligo

The Hawkswell Theatre, Sligo offer shows for the Younger Audience

regularly organise shows which are geared specifically for the younger audience, from classical concerts, the very popular Beethoven Babies and Baroque Babies to the sing-along all singing all dancing human Skittles that are the Speks. A full programme of events for children from tiny to tweeny to teenager is on the menu in most auditoriums.

Cinemas are also cashing in on the baby boom in entertainment. The Carrick Cineplex hosts parent/carer baby morning screenings of new movies. ‘Rattle and Stroll’ happens once a month. The films are aimed at adults but with a sensible rating. No Texas Chain saw Massacres but LaLa Land musicals and romantic comedies. Lights are left low, volume is low in what they call a relaxed social environment. Obviously there is a tolerance of baby and child noise. Although it has to be said that the baby friendly cinema is really about allowing parents to visit the cinema in a tolerant atmosphere and less about encouraging the inner film buff in the toddler. No doubt early exposure to movies may inspire for the future.

Art galleries and venues are aware that this audience enjoy interactive play or taking part and they too have included the tinniest citizens in planning their schedule of events for the year. The Model in Sligo, and the Dock in Carrick on Shannon hosts a series of workshops in February and

March ‘My toddler and me’ offering sessions in toddler drama, art &crafts, messy play and guaranteed fun. I know you probably feel that your life is full of toddler drama and messy play, but this is a chance to see work with artists and drama facilitators.

The Dock Carrick on Shannon — My Toddler and Me Sessions are both fun and interesting for Parents & Babies

Children are naturally curious and open to new experiences. An early introduction to appropriate theatre, films and art can only enhance their development, broaden their minds and feed those wonderful imaginations. We don’t have to go far from home to find suitable entertainment for the little ones, and if we happen to enjoy the events ourselves, well that can only be a bonus.

Showing & Glowing – How to Look Fabulous during Pregnancy!

That pregnancy glow does not mean that you should hide your light under a bushel or under an ugly pregnancy kaftan. This is a wonderful time in your life and while you might feel like staying in the pj’s and trackies for the duration, it is a great time to dress up and to shine like never before. Sure, high heels might be out of the question, but that does not mean you cannot look stunning and alluring. Here are a few tried and tested pointers for avoiding the dreaded maternity frump in favour of fabulousness. Just follow a few guidelines and dress to wow and delight!

Invest in a few nice pieces:

Forget about adapting your current wardrobe to cope with the extra baby width. This will only result in you looking squished and at the end of the nine months, you will associate your present clothes with your pregnancy and may be reluctant to wear them again. Don’t rob yourself of the joy of getting back into your favourite non-baby bump dress. It makes sense to purchase a few choice items of maternity wear to see you through the pregnancy in style. A good pair or maternity jeans or trousers are a necessity. Squishing into too-small jeans is never a good look and leaving the buttons undone is just gross. Well cut maternity jeans are a staple for the mum to be. Buy a good pair.

Purchase some nice tops in soft, rich fabrics with lots of stretch. Don’t choose anything too tight or too short. Clothes that restrict your body or make you uncomfortable should be avoided. It is not classy to have your bare belly on show, unless you are at the beach or pool. Sometimes less is more, but mostly, more is more! Maternity clothes are especially cut to fit around the blooming pregnant form and nothing flatters in the same way.

Embrace your Bump:

Don’t try to hide a baby bump by wearing clothes way too big. Choose your own size and a nice stretchy material to enhance and celebrate the life

What to wear when pregnant — Perfect your Maternity Style in the clothes you love.

growing within. Make sure you only wear things you love. It does not matter if they are pre-loved, vintage, second hand or bought especially for you. Loving the look you have is important for your own self esteem. Layer clothes for a beautiful effect. Team floaty tops with leggings, top dresses with pashminas. Dare to be different and embrace this special time in your life. Enjoy colours and patterns and anything which makes you feel good will make you look good.

Keep your own style:

Keep your own personal ‘look’ and don’t feel that you have to hide in oversized shirts and wide jeans (unless this actually is your ‘look’)! Adapt your style a little and choose accessories which reflect who you are. You may be becoming a mother, but you are not becoming ‘mumsy’ just yet, so don’t fall for the cliché pregnancy staples and instead make your bump a fashion statement. Pregnant and Proud!!

Bed Wetting – The Tried & Tested Guide to combat Bedwetting

Nothing is more taboo in parenting circles than bed wetting. It’s one of those problems that elicits a plethora of advice from well-meaning parents of children who do not bed-wet! As much as this is infuriating for the parents of children who do have this issue, that annoyance is eclipsed by the feelings of inadequacy and failure which parents of serial bed-wetter’s already feel. So, first things first.

Never presume that every effort to address the problem has not already been explored by the family involved and the same rules apply as with sleeping babies. If you have a baby who sleeps through the night, be happy but be quiet. If you have children and never experienced bed wetting, be happy but be quiet!

It won’t last forever

If your child has nocturnal enuresis, or accidental loss of urine during sleep, they are not alone. A quick trip down the nappy aisle of any major supermarket will reveal the need for sleepwear products designed for older children. In fact 15% of all children suffer from bed wetting at one time or another. The HSE are clear in their advice that bed wetting is normal in children under 5 years of age and quite common in older children.

The good news is that as a child grows, their bladder capacity also grows, the need to urinate lessons and they learn to wake up when the need arises, so they are likely to stop bedwetting as time passes. If you are worried about bed-wetting, it is advisable to seek professional advice and, of course, there are a few classic dos and don’ts.

1. Never make the child feel embarrassed about bed-wetting.

2. Do not punish or reward. It is not their fault and they cannot control the situation.

3. Encourage normal drinking of fluids as it is important to recognise a full bladder.

4. Make sure your child eats enough fruit and veg as it prevents constipation, which can cause bed wetting.

5. Stay calm and invest in a good under sheet and pull up pants to eliminate the stress of cleaning up.

6. Encourage your child to change the sheets with you. This is a family issue which you are openly and calmly handing together.

7. Ensure child uses the loo before bed and leave a light on in case they need to get up during the night.

8. Don’t use a waking strategy. This is a short term answer.

9. Seek professional advice or a referral to a enuresis advisor if you feel

Bed wetting has been an issue for parents and children for generations. As such, we need to take a gentle and realistic approach. It is a temporary problem but if it is not treated with common sense and respect in the childhood years, it may leave psychological scars for the adult. Stress and anxiety can be responsible for the start of bed wetting, but can also make it worse. So Stay calm and carry On Being the wonderful Parent you know you are!

Parental Separation Anxiety – It’s not just the kids who feel it!

The first days of school, crèche and playgroup will soon be here for many families. In between the search for uniforms, school bags and equipment, there is hardly time to consider the dreaded separation anxiety. You have probably put a lot of thought and effort into getting your child ready for the adjustment to first time schooling. No doubt, your child is already chatting about the new adventure ahead. People will have remarked on how you might enjoy your new found freedom. However, it is likely that you feel a small tug at your own heart at the thought of this big step. If, like most parents, you’ve found yourself dreading the moment when you hand over that precious little person to the care of others, then don’t’ panic. It is a normal and perfectly understandable reaction. Finding the balance between a growing independence for your child and letting go easily is not easy.

We are happy to offer little helpful advice in ways to manage your own separation anxiety.

Shield your child from your anxiety: Don’t let them see how upset you are. Children pick up our cues. You can’t expect your child to look forward to playing with the other kids in preschool if you have tears in your eyes as you say goodbye. Try to control your emotions and don’t linger or cry. Leave as happily and matter-of –factly as you can and then, resist the urge to collect them early.

Keep Busy: Make a list of the things you plan to do in the few hours that your child will be elsewhere. It is tempting to spend the time watching the clock, but you deserve an undisturbed coffee, the chance to clean out the shed or a walk in nature.

Find others in the same situation: Lots of mums, dads and guardians are feeling pretty much the same as you are. A cuppa and a chat together can be helpful in putting things in perspective.

Be organised in good time before leaving the house: If you’re late, rushing and already under stress, you’ll be impatient with your child and it will not bode well for a happy farewell. It’s hard to feel good about saying goodbye and heading off to your own day, if the mood of a row is hanging in the air.

Be on time to collect your child: There is nothing that will increase the stress levels than a child swinging their feet on a bench waiting for a parent, while a teacher or childcare worker paces impatiently, waiting to get home to their own family. A few minutes early is acceptable to all.

Lose the guilt. Guilt is a useless emotion. Your child is safe. Whatever you decide to do with your time, do it without guilt and in the knowledge that your child is in the care of someone you know and trust. Remind yourself that you are a person of value who deserves and requires time to “recharge,” and that doing this will make you a better parent in the long run.

Unless you intend to spend your life cooking and cleaning for your adult children living at home in their forties and fifties, you must accept that separation is a part of life. Yes, it is a bittersweet parting when they are small wee ones who have spent almost every moment in your care. This feeling of anxiety and fear at parting will dissipate over time and soon you will feel normal. In the meantime, take it easy, acknowledge the feelings and know that all will be well in the long term.

Photo Credit: InnerConflicts

New Dad Survival Guide – The First Few Weeks

Top tips for surviving the first few weeks of fatherhood, while collecting brownie points from you partner, enjoying the baby and not going totally insane!

So that new little person has finally arrived. Your house is full of strange looking plastic equipment. Your partner is hormonal, emotional and exhausted. A tiny baby stares up at you and wraps its little hand around your thumb, holding on for dear life. You are officially the man of the house!

It’s daunting and new. Chill out my friend. We have some top tips which will assist the new Dad in keeping everyone happy and in surviving and even enjoying the first few weeks.

A Few Don’ts:

To keep fully out of trouble here are a few complete No-No’s .

Do not agree with your partner that she a) looks tired. b) is fat c)has no clue what she is doing.
These seemingly innocent comments, uttered in exhaustion, and from an over-riding need for reassurance are potential traps. Instil an automated response to all these and any other tricky remarks that might catch you off guard. She is more beautiful now. A wonderful mother. Even in her complete tiredness, she looks magnificent. Of course, you mean every word, but an unintentional slip of the tongue at this sensitive time could be very costly. Be wary.

Never, ever complain of being tired.
You may be a zombie servant to the overlords of sleep deprivation and exhaustion but do not mention it. Refrain from any moaning and complaining, unless you want a complete melt-down, a lecture on what she has been through or the silent treatment (hmmmmm?) Even if you are viewing the world through bloodshot slits and you have not the strength to open a tin of beans, accept it stoically and silently. Man Up! In this particular scenario, you just don’t have the legitimacy to complain.

Don’t Google.
True, there is no manual with this particular model and the temptation to Google anything from ‘tiny milk spots on babies face’ to ‘never ending crying’ can be overwhelming. Beware! When it comes to babies, Google will return with an overwhelming number of replies, each one presenting a more horrendous outcome than the last. Don’t Google. The answers lie elsewhere.

A few essential hints that every new Dad needs to know:

There is no such thing as too many wipes.
Yes. You will have to face the nuclear waste of those nappies. (How can one small baby make such a mess?) You will have to take your turn. If it is really affecting you, stick a Vicks nasal stick up each nostril, suck on a hard candy and sing the theme of the A Team. Be a man. You will get used to it

Walk that crying baby.
Crying babies can be very upsetting for the whole house. The new mother is especially freaked out when baby cries. You need to be the calm one. Get a checklist in your head.

1. Hunger.
2. Dirty nappy.
3. Tiredness.
4. Obvious sign of distress (temperature etc.)
And number 5, the most common,
Stay calm, stay zen, pop ‘em in the sling or over your shoulder, sing a lullabye and walk it out.

Other parents and Grannies know a lot.
Keep a list of key phone numbers next to the phone, so that when panic does set in you can quickly pinpoint the best person to call for advice. As well as including your midwife, doctor, health visitor, and mum on your list, you could also add the telephone numbers of friends with children, your local breastfeeding counsellor, and the breastfeeding helpline. If all these fail, phone that one friend who makes you laugh.

You are not ‘foodies’ anymore.
It is just temporary. For now, take-away and frozen food are perfectly acceptable as you adjust to spending 24 hours a day tending the needs of one tiny person. You will be back making your own sun blush pasta in no time.

Other Dads, especially those with tinies, are vital to your sanity.
In times of trouble, phone a friend.
Remember, it is normal to feel over-whelmed. This is a huge time of adjustment for you, your partner and for that little baby too. But, you can do it.

Here are some ways to enhance the experience.

Take photographs and videos:
The time goes past quickly and you will be so happy that you have recorded happy memories. Take sneaky looks at those pictures when you are back at work and suffering separation anxiety. (I know! As if there as not enough anxieties already!!)

Skin on Skin:
Tinies love the sensation of cuddling up skin on skin with their Daddies. Apparently daddies are not too adverse to it either and it promotes a sense of wellbeing and happiness in both parties.

Be a bouncer:
Yeah, everyone wants in to the new baby house. Make a VIP list which includes friends who don’t stay long and can wash dishes, Mums and Mum-in-laws who know the limits of their involvement, carry casseroles and are useful with a vacuum cleaner. Consult with your partner and gate-keep carefully for her sanity, which means ultimately your sanity.

Lastly and most importantly enjoy your new role in life. You are still you. She is still the woman you love and life has just got richer.

And now:

Enjoy some uploads from other dads fumbling their way through the experience.

https://www.youtube.com/user/watsojg1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyvJtA0c06M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FBuphlJPbA